I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
