Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
