What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
