That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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