does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Randomize
