And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
