swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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