Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
