Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
