If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So vagazzling was a success
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
