brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
