The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
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Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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