I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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