i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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