Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize