So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize