You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
