next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
