when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
