Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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