i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize