At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
