If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
