People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
