Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
