Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
