Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I pour the whiskey from now on
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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