Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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