I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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