I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
