"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
