too bad you live with your parents still
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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