Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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