wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
