oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
