those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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