I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
