And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
