We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
