Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
