is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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