party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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