Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
