Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
