Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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