he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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