Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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