You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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