You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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