therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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