Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
