Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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