RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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