I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
