I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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