yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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