i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
