remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
