Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My life is pants optional.
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