I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
