you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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