Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
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