Soap is not a condiment
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i now understand why vodka
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
