I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
