I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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