my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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