no, he came in my armpit
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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