You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
