Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
